The Ten commandments courtesy The Heartbreak Kid

March 19, 2009 at 6:35 am (Uncategorized)

No, no I am not talking about Shawn Michaels. Rather these rules that shall govern all relationships are provided by the hilariously funny (wait is that a correct phrase) comedy The Heartbreak Kid.

Ben Stiller comedies are usually very predictable and barring the occasional laugh here and there not really funny. THK breaks the mould though and without resorting to slaptstick jokes manages to be funny and pacy throughout.

Oh yeah the ten commadments. To be followed before you jump the gun and marry a chick.

  1. Thou shalt knoweth her mother. After all the genes are going to decide how your wife looks 20 years from now
  2. Thou shalt knoweth all her sickness and allergies. Who knows she might be allergic to professional wrestling or worse sports
  3. Thou shalt knoweth if she is a full time karaoke singer singing along to every sound of music that passes you by
  4. In order of importance this shalt rank right up there. Bed manners. Thou shalt knoweth if she has the capacity to tire you out within the first 5 minutes.In your face all you purity ring holders. Side note to myself : jackhammer check, pile driver check but what in the blue hell is a swedish helicopter move
  5. Thou shalt knoweth of any and all piercings
  6. Thou shalt knoweth of your to-be-wife’s source of income and not just her job
  7. Thou shalt knoweth of any debts she might be bringing along
  8. Thou shalt knoweth of any blow problems (and I mean cocaine only here but I think Moss might have meant more here)
  9. Thou shalt knoweth of all ex-boyfriends and their activities
  10. Thou shalt knoweth her IQ level (putting mineral oil in Mexican sun, come on how dumb can you get)

Follow these 10 commandments of MOSS and you will never go wrong in life. And if you are not a big fan of my blog you can go watch the movie itself. You might just find it a tiny winy bit more interesting. And yeah, lest I forget, do watch till the end of the credits.

The heartbreak kid

The heartbreak kid

Rating : They’ve got something here

Genre : Romance, Comedy

Go watch it for : A good time

Go watch it with : Your partner, friends or when u are feeling lonely

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My own private purgatory

March 18, 2009 at 7:40 pm (Uncategorized)

How can you stay in Idaho and not watch My Own Private Idaho. Ever heard that? Well one I lived in Idaho only for 12 weeks or so and secondly Idaho shouldn’t be the reason you want to watch this work from Gus Van Sant, the guy who brought us the movie which probably should have won the Oscar in 2009 Milk.
I must start with a confession though. I am very uncomfortable watching movies with homos and all. Watching brokeback mountain (in French) and that too with a chick I was trying to ask out was clearly one of the most¬† awkward 2 hours. Thankfully the movie was good enough for the time to pass by quickly. This “homophobia” has probably to do with me being Indian.

Anywho, the movie starts with one of the most impressive opening scenes with Mike (river phoenix) having hallucinations as he stands in the middle of an empty road. In terms of impact, the orgasm portrayed by a house falling from the sky onto the ground,  few scenes would surpass it. Mike and Scott (Keanu Reeves) are gay street hustlers as they land up in Portland afer Mike has another of his narcoleptic episodes

Scott is revelaed to be in line for a big inheritance from his parents when he turns 21, subject to his being a “good son”. His father is the mayor who thinks his son’s wayward ways is God’s way of punishing him.

The movie though shot brilliantly loses much of its steam in the first 40 minutes so much that I didnt want to come out of this self imposed blogging exile. But I guess this is going to serve as preparation for my new job. Times when you dont like them, times when you do but when there is a job to do, you better get ur hands dirty
Scott and Mike leave for Idaho to meet Mike’s older brother Richard in a quest to resolve Mike’s narcoleptic visions about his mother. Richard reveals himself to be Mike’s real father (Joseph Fritzl, where art thou) and then Scott and Mike leave for Rome in search of his mother.

Some great evening shots of Rome are followed by the revelation that she doesnt live in Rome anymore. In her place they meet this Italian girl Carmella who hooks up with Scott much to the envy of Mike (who is shown as having romantic feelings towards Scott from the beginning)
Scott and Carmella leave for States leaving Mike behind to continue his work as a gay hustler. But another narcoleptic lapse later, he finds himself back in Portland where Scott has overcome his past, disowned their former mentor Bob who dies soon after.

As the funerals for Bob and Scott’s father take place temporally and spatially simultaneously, in contrasting conditions though the scene cuts back to Idaho where a passed out Mike is picked up by a driver and the final image is that of the house which had crashed in the beginning.
I hate the very thing about this movie which other critics rave about- There is hardly a central thread running through which can bind the movie. Gus does a wonderful job with the cinematography and scene set up but scenes individually dont make a movie click. The only saving grace is the fine performances delivered by all and sundry. Specially from someone who was coming of Bill and Ted adventures.

The plot has evidently been borrowed from Henry IV. I say what plot. The characters are flat and the dialogue lifeless. It’s a visual treat. Just mute the volume, skip the gay scenes and sit back and enjoy some spectacular scenes

My own private idaho

My own private idaho

Genre : Beats me

Rating : Yawnnnn

Go see it for : Why Idaho is one of the most beautiful wonders hidden in the middle of nowhere.

Go see it with : Your gay partner

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